Friday, November 24, 2006

Get out of my head

Well hello there!! I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving, eating to your hearts desire and getting to see people you haven't seen in a while, or maybe have never even met before.

I spent a good part of the night with Kelli and her family eating tasty turkey dinner and just lounging around. It was nice, especially after an 8 hour Starbuck's shift. It was busy, the tips were good, and people were very nice to us.

The funny thing is, I was thinking when I got to work this morning about how crazy it is when you have something planned and you expect it to go a certain way, and somehow it just doesn't end up that way.

I didn't make chocolate cream pie for dessert yesterday, for some reason the dream whip was just not setting right. So I made something new, apple spice cake, instead. It was enjoyed, by many.

And I didn't brave the early morning craziness today. My sleepy self would not allow me to get out of bed at 5:30 this morning, espeically after being up half the night with a headache.

That is the other thing I have been thinking about the last couple of days. I have gone months without a massive headache, and it always seems like when I consciously realize that, things start to turn around. The one thing I can't stand about having a migraine is not the pain itself, but the mere feeling of knowing that I am not myself, that I act strange, more distant, out of it. I don't like that.
I truly believe that it could be one of those things that the enemy uses at times, or in my case a lot of the time, to distract you from the spiritual things in your life. He attacks, and I don't like that. Sometimes I ask God to get the enemy out of there, but I know that it may take a while sometimes. And I definitely know that the things around me don't always help the situation.
When I am frustrated, when I am stressed, when I want to confront someone about something but I don't, that is when the battle begins. Let it go, I just say, let it go.

But when you loose sleep because of that circumstance that you want to confront, that is when you spend way too much time thinking about it, and can sometimes only end up making the problem worse. What a vicious cycle life can be sometimes.

I know one thing I have to be thankful for in the end though is that God WILL win the battle, that He is on my side, fighting for me, fighting for all His sons and daughters. Sometimes though, I do realize, that there are some he has to fight a little harder for, to keep them from the hands of the enemy.
It is you I pray for, that you would turn around and realize the pain you are causing people, not only to those who care about you, but especially to your Father.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I can only understand to a certain measure. I believe its wrong when people say I understand, when they don't understand to the full measure of the circumstance that you are placed in. attentively in the matter in which I relate to you in this circumstance. Is when I went through chemo and taking the pain pills. I felt so distant from even myself, I didn't know what to feel. I had pain that I was dealing with. The drugs making me numb to the human touch. when someone said I love you or express the way they felt about me. I could only but nod my head, say yes!

One thing that I've learned along the way is not measure what people mean, by the way I feel but who they are to me. Basing my love on there position not my feeling towards them at the moment. It takes dying to your flesh. Its okay to have emotion but not allow them to control us.

I got some learning to do for myself. I'm one to, do things on impulse. Caring for people first before myself. Putting myself in a predicament. Affecting those who love me. I need to carefully assess the situation before makimg a move to help someone, and not putting myself for other to fend for. Realizing for for my self, I can only do so much. in spite of wanting to give what I don't have. saying yes to everyone at the same time. getting myself introuble!yikes>>!