Friday, July 27, 2007

It's ok

To be sad.

To pray your life would last just a little bit longer.

To Cry.

Even when your tears don't fall.

To hold on.

To want a hand for just one more minute.

To ask.

For the things you so badly want to do for yourself, but can't.

It's ok.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

I can't help it

I like lists.

And I tend to steal them from other peoples blogs. It is so much easier that way.

The ABC's of You and Me (that means I expect to see this on your blogs too :)

A - Attached or Single: Single, though I am very attached to someone
B - Best Friend: From Seattle- Amy, from Utah-Kelli
C - Cake or Pie: Cake. White. With ice cream.
D - Drink of Choice: White Chocolate Peanut Butter Shake
E - Essential Item: a good CD, hairspray, and lip gloss.
F - Favorite Color: Deep, dark purple.
G - Gummi Bears or Worms: Worms
H - Hometown: I'll say Ogden, since that is where I have lived the longest
I – Indulgence(s): Very soft blankets, cake and ice cream, tanning (since I don't do it very often), hugs
J - January or July: January in Utah, July in Seattle
K - Kids: I don't know yet
L - Life is incomplete without: Jesus
M - Marriage Date: in the future, I am praying :)
N - Number of Siblings: 1 older brother, 4 step-siblings
O - Oranges or Apples: Apples-only if they are peeled
P - Phobias/Fears: Pain. That's honestly all I can think of. Eternity, but that's a little different than a fear
Q - Favorite Quote: "Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those places and still be calm in your heart."
R - Reason to smile: having lunch at P.F. Chang's with any of my good friends.
Seeing a puppy. For some reason, I always laugh when people fall, I can't help it.
S - Season: Spring is nice.
T- Tag Three: Mel, Jules, and Josh. :)
U - Unknown Fact About Me: I have a mole in a very discrentionary spot.
V - Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals: Where's the beef?
W - Worst Habit: Eating when I'm stressed. Playing the same song over and over again. Picking at my scalp.
X - X-rays or Ultrasounds: I've had more ultrasounds.
Y - Your Favorite Foods: I seem to like a lot of dairy, like sharp cheddar cheese,yogurt, ice cream, etc. I really like sauces. Crispy honey shrimp. Salmon. Cereal.
Z- Zodiac: Virgo.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Getting Personal

I heard a song today that really describes some of things I have been thinking about lately.

Check it out here:

It's called Here's My Life

Wednesday, July 18, 2007


Since I am a fan of lists, and some of you are too, I got a little inspiration reading some blogs and decided to type one.

Here it is.

1. I remember my frist birthday. People don't believe me when I tell them that. I had a Rainbow Bright cake, my mom confirmed that.

2. I watched Fried Green Tomatoes for the first time last night, and I almost bawled my eyes out. Bad timing.

3. I finally found a seamstress to alter my bridesmaid dress. I think she is German.

4. I have been in two weddings in my entire life. First was my mom's, second will be by best friend's on August 25th, 2007.

5. I was born on my paren'ts 4th year anniversary. What a present :)

6. To this date, I don't personally know anyone who has the same birthday as me. Jeremy Bair is the closest, August 28th.

7. Two famous people that I share the same birthday with are Mother Teresa and Paul Rubens (AKA...Pee-Wee Herman). I just looked that up.

8. I don't wear jeans more than two times before washing them.

9. I have been trying out the color green, and I kind of like it.

10. Yes I have been tanning, but only for the wedding.

11. At this point in my life, I would be ok if I didn't have kids.

12. I would like to have a dog.

13. I will NEVER go skydiving. I can't be talked into it.

14. I am having a really hard time deciding what to do for Amy for her bachelorette party.

15. I am terrible at picking out clothes for other people, including lingerie.

16. I have eaten out for dinner the past 16 nights in a row. Yuck.

17. My bosses are outrageously understanding.

18. Sometimes I forget that I have a tattoo. I rarely ever see it.

19. My brother now has more tattoo space on his body than anyone else I personally know.

20. The last scriptures I read were out of 2 Corinthians.

21. I am currently reading Prayer, by Philip Yancey.

22. I almost always never finish the last 5-10 pages of a book. I have no idea why.

23. I really do like the color pink.

24. I wear a dress when I start to feel like I look unfeminine, and it really does help me to feel better. It has to be a dang good fitting dress though.

25. I have written SO many letters that I never gave away.

26. I have helped 4 people in the last two months I know look for jobs.

27. I don't think I will be moving back to Seattle this year.

28. One year to be starting school again seems like such a very long time.

29. I have been making up time at work for the annual leave I don't want to use.

30. I haven't gone to bed before midnight for almost a week now.

31. I have realized over the last two weeks that I am terrible at using a lancet.

32. I find that pain I experience is usually less than what I expect it to be.

33. It bothers me when people don't make eye contact when they are asking me questions.

34. I have broken one bone, my thumb.

35. People watching should be considered a hobby.

36. I like watching peoples' faces when they get a surprise.

37. I love Japanese Cherry Blossoms.

38. My favorite drink this summer has been blended strawberry lemonade.

39. I am an excessive e-mail checker.

40. I have considered not having a blog anymore.

41. I sometimes wonder why certain people in life have a way of making their way back into the picture.

42. I got a new mouse pad, and I don't like the way it makes my mouse move.

43. I drink iced tea more than water, especially green tea.

44. I have thought about what it would be like to rescue someone.

45. I use a lot of post-it notes at work. They are mostly for phone numbers.

46. I have a fetish for intricately decorated cupcakes.

47. I am very obsessive about balancing my checkbook.

48. I don't like shaving my legs because of the awful razor burn it causes.

49. I am forever grateful to Melissa for exposing me to P.F. Chang's. I am sure it would have happened some time, but I am glad it was her. :)

50. I didn't think I was going to make it to 50.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

In case you were wondering

You won't ever have to worry about me starving in a crisis situation.

I am the WORST emotional eater, ever.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

For those of you who know what is going on right now, thank you.
Thank you for taking the time to listen and lend a shoulder to cry on when I need it most. And believe me, I need it.

It was good to see Julie on Sunday morning and get to chat over coffee a little bit. It was an unexpectedly pleasant surprise.

For those of you who don't know what is going on, and care to find out, give me a call, E mail me, something. I hate feeling like I am reaching out for people in desparation. I hate doing this.

Though there are many things in life (like health) that I am thankful for and I ask God to be reminded of every day, one thing that has been very frustrating for me is how stupid some doctors can be.
Surgeons, they are good, they actually try to HELP people.
Some oncologists, not so good, and their bedside manner is TERRIBLE.

Don't ever tell a patient they are foolish for wanting to be on life support, or for choosing not to take chemotherapy. You WILL get punched in the face next time you say that.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Some people just don't listen.

Aren't you hearing?

Why don't you understand?

Friday, July 6, 2007

How would it be

How would it be
to live in your twenties,
and think of someone writing your eulogy?

How would it be
to have a body
and watch it whither before thee?

How would it be
to have a family
that couldn't see your peace?

How would it be
to think more of eternity,
when will it happen to me?

How would it be
to want to live,
yet know his will may be to take me?

How would it be
to plan for tomorrow
knowing you have no property?

I see these things
and I fall to my knees,
knowing I cannot understand

Until I go
the way you have followed
into the hands of the one who is He.